Ready to start healing your relationship?
Hi, I’m Alice Grutman
I'm a couples therapist who specializes in helping people navigate betrayal, rebuild trust, and repair relationships after affairs and other significant relationship injuries.
I regularly share practical, evidence-informed videos about betrayal, affair recovery, emotional affairs, trust, and relationship repair.
Follow me on TikTok → @allthefeelstherapy
My Approach
I don't believe relationships fail because people don't care.
More often, they become caught in patterns that are painful, repetitive, and difficult to change on their own.
My work is grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, and attachment science. Together, these approaches help us slow things down, understand what's happening beneath the conflict, and create new ways of responding to each other.
Therapy isn't about deciding who's right or wrong. It's about helping you move out of the cycle that's keeping you stuck and toward greater safety, trust, and connection.
What It’s Like to Work With Me
Therapy with me is active, structured, and collaborative.
I’ll help guide conversations so they don’t spiral or shut down.
We’ll slow things down, make sense of what’s happening in real time, and practice doing things differently- together.
This might look like:
Understanding your negative cycle (the one you keep getting pulled into)
Having difficult conversations without becoming stuck in the same painful cycle.
Helping you understand how the betrayal happened, rebuild trust, and determine whether repair is possible.
Navigating non-monogamy or relationship transitions
Strengthening emotional and physical connection
I’ll be direct when it’s helpful- but always with care.
My Background
Alongside my private practice, I've spent the past 15 years working in correctional settings and substance use treatment. Today, I also supervise and train other mental health clinicians.
Those experiences have profoundly shaped how I approach therapy. I've seen how shame, trauma, and disconnection can influence people's choices and how lasting change requires both accountability and compassion. One without the other rarely leads to meaningful growth.
That perspective continues to inform my work with couples recovering from affairs and other significant relationship injuries. My goal isn't to excuse what happened or assign blame. It's to help couples understand the patterns that contributed to the injury, support meaningful accountability, and determine whether repair is possible.
I also hold specialized training in consensual non-monogamy through the Sexual Health Alliance and provide affirming care for a variety of relationship structures.
What I Believe About Relationships
I don’t believe there’s one “right” way to do relationships.
Monogamy isn’t inherently better than non-monogamy.
And non-monogamy isn’t inherently more evolved.
What matters is:
Honestly
Consent
Emotional safety
And the ability to repair when things go wrong
Because every relationship runs into challenges- and what matters is how you find your way back to each other.
I believe accountability and compassion can exist together. Understanding why something happened doesn't excuse it, but it often helps us understand what needs to change.
A bit about me outside the therapy room
Outside the therapy room, I'm someone who tends to lean toward doing hard things while also listening to my body along the way.
Running, yoga, and pilates have all taught me something about pacing, staying present, and knowing when to push and when to ease up.
I bring that same philosophy into therapy. We don't rush past what's hard, but we also don't push beyond what's helpful. Instead, we move at a pace that allows for honesty, emotional safety, and meaningful change.
Experience and Education
Bachelors of Arts in Psychology
Masters in Social Work
Licensed Clinical Social Worker (CA)
Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (WA)
Trainings and Modalities
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)
The Gottman Method
Consensual Non-Monogamy Certified
Open/Poly/Swinger Relationship Expert
Trauma Therapy for Couples
Affair and Betrayal Recovery
Working with Couples in a Neuro-Affirmative Way
Emotionally Focused Therapy for Relationship Loss
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT)